The day before the match, I was feeling a little bit depressed. I was still trying to determine whether to go to this match or not. Deep down, in the pit of my stomach, I did not want to go to the match, for the reasons described in my previous post. Another reason why I do not want to go to the match is that I do not want my personal life and my professional life to mix. When I used to go to Toronto FC matches, one of the main reasons why I went was because it provided me an escape from the pressures of school, work, and life in general. I needed that outlet to let off steam and to express myself, as well as to be myself. I used to get involved in some nefarious things on match-days, things that my workplace would not exactly approve. Now that my co-workers are going to the match, if I do end up going to the match, I would have to behave myself. It is almost as if I would have to be a chaperone.
The main reason why I should go to the match is that I need the social experience. I need to strengthen the links between my co-workers and myself. They have become more than my co-workers, they are my friends, and I like hanging out with them. I need to put away whatever fears I have about going to the match, as well as to get in the mindset that I am just doing an activity with my friends, instead of acting as if I am going back to an abusive ex-girlfriend.
I ignored my sound advice, and went to the match with my co-workers.
I realized that any fears that I had were all in my head.
Before I get into that, I will just talk about the match itself. There was a lot of manufactured pomp and fanfare regarding this match and this trophy, and it surprised me to see Toronto FC field a rather strong starting eleven for this match against Tigres. Unfortunately, TFC played like this was a meaningless friendly. The match itself was drab and tough to watch, entertainment wise, with few chances coming from TFC. Tigres were able to cut through Toronto FC's defence quite easily, who have struggled mightily this year. Michael Bradley should never play as a centre-back ever again. Duenas' second goal for Tigres was a nice strike. Thankfully, I did not really focus much on the match.
Regardless, I had a surprisingly good time last night, and I had a lot of fun. I was able to suppress my anxiousness and nervousness, and just focus on making sure that the rest of my co-workers had as best of a time as they could. In addition, alcohol helped a lot, and I may have had about three large beers too much. Thankfully, I did not make an ass of myself and stayed in control. As someone who is a seasoned veteran of going to Toronto FC matches, I was naturally inclined to lead the group. It was my responsibility to make the Toronto FC experience a good one, especially for my co-workers who were going to a match for the first time.
The Toronto FC atmosphere in the south stand was nowhere near its best, and it was sad to see all the empty seats in the bottom of section 114, but it was never on my mind for the duration of the match. It did not matter. I actually felt quite happy, because my co-workers were able to experience something that I held dear to my heart for many years, with no judgment from them. I took part in the chanting, and so were some of my co-workers, who found the atmosphere infectious. I was like a proud dad. All of us were just shooting the breeze, with lots of banter and entertainment between all of us. It was a good crowd, and I felt that we were all comfortable with each other, despite us working together. We even managed to see a TFC goal in the south end, so there was at least some cheering.
I had this expectation built up in my head that going to a Toronto FC match with my co-workers would be a bad combination due to the fact that I would generally misbehave at matches and I would have to tone it down it front of my coworkers. From the first sip of my Long Island iced tea, that expectation was shattered. Something that I thought would end up quite bad actually ended up quite good. My brain tends to think about the negative scenarios that could happen before an event, but in reality, it would be the complete opposite. I was comfortable enough around my co-workers to act like myself at the match (again, the alcohol helped a lot), and just be that exuberant ball of happiness I usually am. I was acting as if I would normally act whenever I would go to matches, with the chanting, singing, and acting frustrated whenever some BS happened on the pitch.
I should learn not to listen to my brain sometimes, and just go with the flow. I had an amazing time, and I hope that my co-workers had an amazing time as well. I hope I was able to be a positive influence to my co-workers and enhance their match-day experience to be that much better. I felt like I did, and it felt special to me.
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