COVID-19 Update: Amplifying The Stagnation

COVID-19 is unfortunately still a thing. Although businesses and other services are slowly starting to open up to the public, there is the risk that opening up things too early will create a second wave of the virus. As the weather is getting warmer for the summer, many people feel anxious and want to enjoy the good weather, even if it means circumventing general social distancing guidelines.

On a mid-May afternoon, I took a walk to my local lighthouse overlooking the bay. The breeze felt exceptionally cold and my hands were freezing that afternoon, but I persevered and sat on the rocks overlooking the lake. I have one more year left in my twenties, and I have been going through the whole thing about what I have achieved in the past year. Alternatively, to put it bluntly, I have been thinking about where I should be at this stage in my life.

I have come to accept that I will never be satisfied with my life, and that I will always be chasing a steady happiness. However, I love the chase of that happiness as it fuels my general ambition and pushes me to do better. During the whole COVID-19 quarantine, I have been feeling stagnant in many ways. Like many others affected by the pandemic, I am anxiously waiting to go back to a somewhat normal life and do things with others. I am also feeling stagnant by the fact that I was trying to grow my career in my current position, but the pandemic (as well as general apathy within the company) is derailing my growth. I know that my search for a better place for my career and myself will be a tougher one because of COVID-19.

There is one more thing that I would like to mention. I mentioned in my writing ideas for 2020 that I was going to write a post about a young, wealthy woman that I used to work with. Now, I have already made peace with my experience, but I am also hesitant in talking about the things that she did. I know that some of my co-workers will chide me in talking about this again, but this is story that I need to tell, as this reveals my general feelings about modern society in general.

Anyways, this is a short post today. I have reviews coming down the pipeline, but it is just a matter of willing myself to write. Writing has been tough during COVID-19, and I am trying not to let that craving for writing go away.