DISCLAIMER: I wrote part of this post on the day of the match between Canada and Suriname at BMO Field. I know I am late on this considering the match happened weeks ago but I was trying to weave this match experience with some mental health thoughts, but I could not make it work.
I am on the way to BMO Field for the second leg of Canada's 2024-2025 Nations League quarter-final against Suriname. I just got back to Toronto yesterday, as I attended a wedding in the Tampa Bay area over the weekend, so it is safe to say that I have a lot on my mind. It is a chilly, cloudy, and rainy November evening, and at 5pm, the sky is already as dark as it is going to be for the night. There is almost an ominous feeling in the sky, which mirrors the dark clouds in my mind on the heels of my time in Florida last weekend. I just hope this does not foreshadow a Canada loss tonight like what happened last year against Jamaica.
I hop off the train with the with the familiar buzzy feeling and cross the train tracks using the newly-built pedestrian bridge (finally!) where I felt like I had to walk up 5 flights of stairs for. After taking a nice-looking photo of the exterior of the stadium, I get inside and start milling around until I head up the cozy and familiar surroundings of section 114. I have always considered the stadium to be the place where I would get away from all the pressures and negative thoughts, but sometimes, through watching the match and the singing and chanting from the Canada supporters, the negative thoughts end up at the forefront on my mind.
I am in the section singing with the Voyageurs and watching Canada put Suriname to the sword in a 3-0 win (4-0 on aggregate) to book their place in the Nations League semi-finals. I have two random observations about the night out at the stadium. I was standing behind the net, and I will never forget the surprised "oh shit I am through on goal don't fuck it up" look on Jacob Shaffelburg's face when the Suriname keeper misplayed the ball on Canada's second goal.
The second observation concerns the banners of support for former Canada head coach John Herdman at the top of the lower east stand. At the time when I saw those banners, I did not understand why those individuals displayed the banner, as I did not think this benefitted anyone. I thought it was disrespectful to show those banners in plain view of Canada’s current head coach Jesse Marsch. Ultimately, those banners ended up not meaning anything, as John Herdman “resigned” as head coach of Toronto FC shortly after this match in the wake of the findings of the drone scandal.
During the time while I was at BMO Field watching the match, I felt a sense of gratitude knowing that I can still go to matches, I can still enjoy myself, and that I can still get away from life, if only for a night. I will enjoy these nights and wins while I still can.
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