The Canadian men's soccer team have not beaten the USA men's soccer team since 1985, until last Tuesday, October 15, at BMO Field. Canada sent the supporters home in delirium with a 2-0 statement win over the USA. I will not dive too much into the particulars of the match itself. Instead, I want to talk about what this result meant to me on an emotional level.
Prior to the Canada/USA match, I have only went to one football match this year at BMO Field, which was in April when Toronto FC hosted New York City FC. Due to time constraints, affordability constraints, and my general apathy of TFC, I stayed away from BMO Field this year. Now, it is important for me to stick to my principles, but it came at the cost of depriving myself of a healthy outlet for my feelings and frustrations.
I firmly believe that everyone needs an outlet to just yell, scream, and generally let out his or her frustrations. I am not referring to simply talking to someone, whether it be a friend, family member, or counselor, about your feelings (although this is important). Sometimes, you need to run out to an empty, open field and scream at the top of your lungs. It is surprising how effective this can be to calm yourself down and bring yourself to a state of peace.
Throughout much of 2019, I did not have a healthy outlet for my emotions. This has led to various anxiety and depression issues within me. I was dissatisfied with my current position in the company I work for, and there have been some negative downturns in my relationships with friends, co-workers, and family. A vehicle also hit me, for which I had to spend some days recovering. Not all of the things that were going on in my life may have something to do with my lack of an outlet, but I would like to think that it does.
I missed Canada's match against Cuba due to prior commitments, but there was no chance that I was going to miss the heavyweight CONCACAF tilt between Canada and the USA. I wanted to go to this match not because I was a Canada supporter, and I wanted to support the men on the pitch. I needed to rediscover my healthy outlet, and I wanted to rediscover one of the joys in my life.
The familiar stirring, excited feeling in my stomach started when I hopped off the train at Exhibition Station and joined the chatty but nervous crowd of red-clothed men and women entering the tunnel. As I exited the tunnel and walked toward the freshly lit BMO Field, the exciting feeling grew larger. It was not the fact that this was the best chance Canada had to defeat the USA in men's soccer; it was the fact that I can allow myself to forget all the negativity in my life for two hours, and become a blank slate in the eyes of the roughly 17,000 people that attended the match. The combination of a night match, standing with the Voyageurs, and the general feel of an important match made me lose myself in the sights and sounds of an evening under the lights.
Obviously, I hoped that Canada can pull off the victory against the USA, but even if they drew or lost the match, the night would have been a positive boost to my psyche. From the way both Canada and the USA were playing, the Canadian supporters and I were in for a special treat. We were in the south end chanting, singing, and bouncing around. Alphonso Davies puts in the first goal for Canada and we all go crazy. However, the instance that created the greatest ecstasy was when Lucas Cavallini scored Canada's second goal in stoppage time in the second half to put the match away. Yes! Canada is finally going to beat the USA in men's soccer for the first time in my life. In the instant when that ball hit the back of the net, I forgot how to be a human being. The madness and bedlam around me blanked my mind, and I was jumping up and down like a lunatic.
It was a historic night for Canadian soccer because Canada finally got over the hurdle and defeated their neighbors to the south. It was a memorable night for myself because indulging in my healthy outlet has allowed me to start the healing process from the infliction of physical, emotional, and psychological scars on me this year. I am able to luxuriate in a memory that has created real happiness to me, without any judgment from anyone that knows me. I felt like I could just be myself.
Find that escape. Find that outlet. Yell. Scream. Shout. Let out your emotions and lay it bare, so that you can be at peace with yourself.
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